You're too young to be a mom!

This entry was originally posted on NatashaVianna.com (thanks for sharing, Natasha!). We encourage you to check out her other writing there.

In my life, I find a way to enjoy everything around me. Being a parent, being a daughter, being a sister, being a best friend, being a semi-socialite, being a shopper, being a blogger, being funny, being silly, being goofy, being happy, being me and being young.

Yet, it never ceases to amaze me when older people utter the words, “You look too young to be a mom” as if it’s a socially acceptable thing to say.

Explain to me why that would be okay. For the first few years, I avoided social situations where this could occur. Then I felt like I had to always have a wall up and be ready to defend myself. Then I went through a period where I thought, “Yeah, I’m way too young.” Now, I’m at the point where I want to reply back with, “You look too old to be alive” or “You look too mature to be judgmental and rude.”

Clearly, I haven’t had the courage to say these things yet. But if you could freeze the moment I hear those words and add volume to my thoughts, you’d die of laughter. “Well, this b*tch is too old for manners too huh?”

Do I look too young to be a mom? What about my appearance says I’m too young to be a mom? Is it because I am fit, healthy, happy, full of energy, and still enjoying the 23rd year of my life? Or is it because I am able to successfully balance work, parenting, friends, and enjoying the social scene in my city?

I say this because it’s the people I meet today that make these comments. It’s not the people who knew me in high school, college or my past. The people who know absolutely nothing about me let those words escape from their lips.

As much as it is rude to say, I look at things in a different perspective. Telling someone I am the mother of a 5 year old girl is always a shocker. People tilt their head to the side, raise their eyebrows, and say, “Really?” I once thought this was a rude thing to do too but I realized something.

If my appearance, personality and demeanor depict something other than what most people assume of teen moms, I’m already changing one person’s perception. If I tell them I was a teen mom and they don’t believe me because of what I’ve accomplished, where I am today, and what I am capable of, then I am already changing the way teen moms are represented.

I feel terribly guilty though. I frequently hear, “You’re not like teen moms though” or “You are an exception”. But I don’t find this all too true. Do you know how many former teen mothers I know who live on their own, have degrees, careers, and raise children while maintaining their youth? I can name 20 young women right now.

I am not an exception. I am like the other teen moms. We overcome and we conquer more than what people ever see. Instead of being recognized for this, we are told we are an exception.
Back to my original question, do I look too young to be a mom? Maybe I look too young to be on a path to success. Maybe I look too young to be able to balance all the things a 40 year old mother can balance. Maybe I look too young to be so responsible. Maybe I look too young to know that mothers come in all ages. Maybe I look too young to understand that the world is filled with people who aren’t what you expect them to be. But I do not look too young to be a mom.