What I Fear Most

Ever since the day I found out I was pregnant the number one question everyone asked was, “how are you going to prevent him from becoming a teen parent like yourself and his father?” I never knew the right way to answer that so I would just say, “we have a couple more years to figure that out.” I would constantly think of ways of how I can prevent my son of being a teen parent, how to talk to him about sex, and when it will even be the right time to talk to him about these things. So much that it would stress me out, and because I felt like I didn’t have the answers I felt like I was failing as a mother; in a sense setting my son up for following in my footsteps.

For over 3 years this question has been over my head, stressing me out, and being such a fear of mine. But then I came to the realization that preventing Xavier from being a teen parent is not what scares me the most, him becoming a drug addict, alcoholic, in a gang, in jail, or his life taken away from him too early is my #1 fear and what I should be preventing him from! But yet I have not yet been asked the question of, “how are you going to prevent your son from drug, alcohol, and or violence?” Since when did teen pregnancy become the biggest fear in society and the only thing society cares about preventing –shaming people along the way?

There are TV shows, movies, magazines, billboards, social media photos, games, and so much more all trying to prevent teen pregnancy with shame and stigma. And in no way am I saying teen pregnancy is not an issue, it is a issue that we most definitely need to prevent, but how about the ads on preventing youth on becoming addicted to drugs, alcohol, getting involved in a gang, going to jail, or losing their life too early. Why are their faces not plastered everywhere being shamed like we are? Why is sex on TV, in songs, in movies, in ads, etc… okay as long as you don’t get pregnant? And if you do, you’re made into a public figure as a mistake? Is it socially acceptable to do drugs, drink excessively, be in and out of jail, and kill people because it’s in every new hit song, TV show, and ad; but very few to prevent it? Because as a mother those are the things I fear the most, and those are the things I am going to try my upmost hardest to prevent my son from, ON TOP of preventing him from being a teen father.


This was a pleasure to read. I found myself hung up and upset just by the very first sentence- how people felt they had the right and the reason to focus on how Jasmin was going to prevent her son from becoming a teen parent. I am continuously reminded that I cannot understand and sometimes haven’t imagined what the young people for whom we advocate really experience, what they really go through. It is so important to create the platforms for young parents to share those truths and experiences to incite others to create change.

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