Co-Parenting with My In-Laws?

 

I don’t know what’s worse, living with people when you have your own family or living with you in-laws. For me they both are horrible, but the in-laws definitely puts the icing on the cake! Don’t get me wrong they are very nice people and I am grateful that they are allowing me stay in their home, but they just drive me insane!

We just are just totally not on the same page on things, and I feel like I can’t say much because they are not my parents and they letting live in their house. The biggest conflict we have with each other is they don’t know their boundaries as a grandparent and not a parent. I know they mean well but they really need to understand that I am Xavier’s mother and Pedro is Xavier’s father, not them!

Yes, my boyfriend and I are young. Yes, this is our fist child, but this is something we have to learn between me and him. Sometimes, he might me stress and be clueless, but we are parents and we will not anything happen to our child. Just like any other fist parent, we will learn on our way. But they don’t understand that and they just  undermine us as parents.

The worst thing they could have ever told me is that I need to compromise with them and, in a way, co-parent with them. WHAT?! Co-parent with my in-laws?! Last time I checked, me and Pedro made Xavier, not me, Pedro, and his whole family! So why in the world would I need to co-parent with anyone else but Pedro?! My boyfriend and I have told them time and again that they need to step back and let us parent, but I really don’t think it is going to happen.

It has been 21 months and I’m still feeling like I need to co-parent with them. Which is the most annoying feeling in the world, and no one should feel that way with their in-laws. I don’t think this will ever change or get better, so the only thing I feel I can do is just to get out of here. Even though they want us to stay, and it might be a struggle with us living on our own, but at least it will keep my sanity! 

Comments

I know the feeling. I think, regardless of age, parents and inlaws will usually try to tell you how to raise your kids. The important thing to remember is that they don't mean any harm. They want the same thing you want - your child to have a great future. I think it's best to sit and talk with them and put into perspective that you all have the same goal. But more importantly, this child is yours and Pedro's. This means you both must make decisions for your child based on your own research and your own opinions. It's great that they want to help but it can be almost overwhelmingly stressful when they just want to overpower you. Maybe if you give them a few responsibilities with Xavier and remind them that raising him is not their burden, it may help. Good luck! Everything is temporary... it will get better. Stay positive.

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