Our culture perpetuates the idea that teen mothers are not valuable women and that our children are destined for failure. Many reinforced this idea when they made comments and asked invasive questions about my life. There’s this illusion that teen moms are no longer worthy of empathy or respect, so anger, hatred, bitterness and judgment are projected onto us. I tolerated it at 17 but I fight back at 25.
In less than 15 minutes, I compiled a list of all the discouraging things I was forced to hear as a teen mom — many of which were spewed by people with “good intentions.”
1. You’re just a kid
2. Children shouldn’t be having children
3. Your child is more likely to end up in jail now
4. Your kid is more likely to be a teen mom because you were
5. This child probably won’t go to college
6. Your life is over
7. Do you know who the dad is?
8. I know it’s not my business, but (insert anything here)
9. Maybe you will grow up now that you’re a parent
10. Do you think you’re cute now?
11. Why are you proud?
12. Babyshower? Why?
13. Ugh, you must hate your life.
14. Tell me about how much your life sucks now.
15. You’re going to need to sacrifice everything for this kid.
16. Say goodbye to your future.
17. I guess you didn’t have any goals.
18. Should have kept your legs closed.
19. Are you stupid?
20. Didn’t you learn anything from those teen mom shows?
21. Haven’t you heard of condoms?
22. Are you going to live off welfare now?
23. He’s going to leave you, you know.
24. Why didn’t you get an abortion?
25. How did this happen?
26. Is he around?
27. Aren’t you afraid that you’ll ruin this child’s life?
28. You will ruin this child’s life.
29. With birth control and condoms so easily available, you must have planned this.
30. Did you do it to keep your boyfriend around?
31. Are you sure you know who the dad is?
32. This isn’t a fairytale.
33. This baby is your punishment.
34. You’re going to give birth to a kid that will ruin your life.
35. I bet your mom is gonna raise the baby anyway.
36. You don’t deserve help.
37. You made your bed, now lay in it.
38. You’re not like other teen moms
39. You’re just like all teen moms.
40. You’re just a baby momma now.
41. How much drama do you have in your life?
42. I will only support you when you prove to me that you deserve it.
43. What are you going to do with your life now?
44. You can’t go to college.
45. Your dreams are not achievable anymore.
46. You are just a statistic now.
47. I hope you plan on marrying his/her dad.
48. Why are you going out? You’re a mom.
49. Forget about your social life.
50. You can’t have fun anymore.
51. It’s not my responsibility to help you.
52. I’m not going to make this easy for you.
53. You chose this life.
54. You’re not allowed to complain.
55. You should have thought about that before you opened your legs.
56. You should have your kid taken away from you.
57. Now you can share your story to others who might make the same stupid mistake.
58. Tell me about your shitty life.
59. I thought you were gay.
60. You must be a freak.
61. You are super fertile.
62. You’re fast.
63. Well, I guess you can audition for Teen Mom now.
64. How are you going to support a kid when you can’t even support yourself?
65. Your parents must hate you.
66. I’m glad you’re not my kid.
67. My daughter would never make the same mistake you did.
68. Your kid is a mistake.
69. Why are you so happy? You’re a teen mom.
70. You’re depressed? Get over it.
71. Of course you’re going to be stressed, you were irresponsible.
72. No, I will not help you.
73. You don’t deserve respect.
74. I’m not saying you’re dumb, I’m saying your choice was dumb.
75. Do you ever wish you just aborted or put it up for adoption?
76. You realize that no guy will ever want you now, right?
77. I’m so glad I’m not a teen mom.
78. Do you just live off his child support?
79. I don’t understand why you upload photos of your belly. You should be ashamed.
80. Let me tell you what you need.
81. I know better than you.
82. Your body must look awful now.
83. You have too much baggage.
84. No one will marry a single mom.
85. Just give up.
86. If you don’t go to college, you’re gonna end up poor.
87. Own up to your mistakes.
88. Don’t blame others for your stupidity.
89. My kid won’t be like yours.
90. How can you have a kid and be gay?
91. Are you on birth control now? Why not?
92. How did it happen?
93. Do you wish it never happened?
94. How many more kids will you pop out?
95. Have you learned your lesson?
96. What are you gonna do to make sure your kid doesn’t turn out like you?
97. People like you drain our economy.
98. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps.
99. No one cares about your story.
100. Stop trying.